Where can the realities of life be found?
Quite possibly in a dark and solemn cave
Lit by shadows that truly astound
Overcome only by the brave
He who leaves the cave has a moral duty
To renew the lives of those prisoners within
And show them life's real beauty
Though they prove not even kin
For this is the life a great leader must pursue
To take the challenges and obstacles at hand
And be able to make do
In order to discover life's everlasting land
So it is with great hope that one must admit
That the realities of life are spread by those who prove fit.
You did a good job capturing the same tone as the allegory, emphasizing the fact that it is one's duty to enlighten others. I enjoyed it! I believe you made a typo in "lite" (line 3) though.
ReplyDeleteA)I thought a sonnet had to be in Iambic Pentameter but other than that, Yes, It does meet the standards.
ReplyDeleteB)As Ng said, It captures the original allegory very well. It does a very good job of working to achieve this effect.
Wow really good rhyming scheme Ryland, the diction in particular really fit with the thematical elements of the allegory, good job!
ReplyDeleteVery well written sonnet. I really enjoyed your rhyming and diction. Keep up the good work kid!
ReplyDeleteNice job. I really enjoyed reading your sonnet. I liked the flow of your diction.
ReplyDeletecomment mine too plz if you get the chance!?
http://sramirezrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/blog-post_23.html
Your structure is right and your focus on the theme of the allegory instead of a summary proved effective. Good job Ryland!
ReplyDeletehttp://ukimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/
Great job! Your sonnet expresses the theme of the allegory very well and with a very similar tone. I like the rhyme scheme too. Good work!
ReplyDeletegreat rhyme scheme! you followed the requirements for a sonnet. i really liked it! good job! :)
ReplyDeleteI had the same impression Josh M. I thought it was supposed to be in iambic pentameter but overall you still did a good job Ryland!
ReplyDeleteDude really awesome sonnet. It was profound yet concise so very good job!
ReplyDeleteGood job! You rhymed everything you needed to and your message was clear.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you started it off with a question. Good job ryland!
ReplyDeletei feel like this can be the actual allegory but just as a sonnet! it has the same tone and all. great job!
ReplyDeleteplease comment on mine: http://kporrazrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/sonnet-allegory-of-cave.html
I really like how you drew in your audience at the beginning with a hook. Awesome job with your writing scheme as well! (:
ReplyDeleteRemember that the sonnet also has to be written in iambic pentameter, the pattern of 10 syllables. But I love the rhyme between pursue and make do... Really smart and I am really mad at myself for not thinking of that. Good job.
ReplyDeleteGood job ryland you did work on this sonnet.
ReplyDeletegoood job! the last two lines were my favorite
ReplyDeleteSo I'm not sure if it has to be in iambic pantameter or not because we didn't talk about that in class...but overall great job! I commend you for making the entire poem rhyme instead of just the last two lines
ReplyDeleteGreat job I love your last two lines!
ReplyDeleteYour poem seems to say "survival of the fittest" to me. It is a unique take on the search for knowledge. Could you comment to my blog as well please?
ReplyDeleteThis a unique take on the allegory of the cave. I like how you talk about those who are enlightened have a duty to spread their newfound knowledge with those around them and take roles of leadership. It definitely has several different applications both to modern day leadership positions and to the days where Romans were the elite. My only criticism is that this should be written in iambic pentameter which would only shorten a few lines in your sonnet. All in all you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your sonnet. Nice rhymes.
ReplyDeletehttp://pkimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-caves-sonnet.html
Great job, I like the use of diversity of phrases and rhymes. Last to lines are great.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your sonnet. I really liked the flow of it and the rhyming as well!
ReplyDeleteI like this one. Perhaps my favorite rhyming of all that I have read.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice, uses some different words that others have not, and has a simplicity that is enjoyable.
You present a message beyond just a story.
I like this.
Good work.
-Trevor